My Journey to Self Love :: Shivoham
I am Shiv — I am Krishna — I am Bramha — I am the whole Universe!!
My journey to self-love was very unintentional. I discovered self-love by accident. The man you see today was birthed from Trauma & Depression. 3 months ago I was sad. I was heartbroken. I was confused. I was lost. I was lonely but I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I lost my relationship but I gained self-awareness. The break up taught me that you can’t learn how to love yourself in a romantic relationship. The journey to self-love is meant to be experienced alone. I was afraid to be alone though because it meant staring at myself in the mirror. Staring at myself in the mirror meant addressing my past and peeling back the layers I avoided for so long. I used to believe that if you ran from your past it would go away but boy was I wrong!
Up until a few years ago, I didn’t even realize that I always wanted to be surrounded by someone. I always wanted to be loved. All those years I chased other people when I should’ve been running back to myself. I needed my love the most.
I am thankful to Hindu School of Philosophy - Vedanta Preachings for the concept of wholeness inside me. “Aham Brahmasmi & Shivoaham”
I’m so grateful for Raman Maharshi & Jiddu Krishnamurti because they motivated me to start my journey. Ramana’s “Who am I” was totally the game changer. It encouraged me to love myself, take care of myself, and get to know myself better. I’m a huge believer in practicing what I preach. Krishnamurthi as he is fondly called, I read my first book by K when I broke up with my partner and was under depression. That book changed my life. Mind you once you read K’s books “Freedom from the Known” no matter what there is no going back. I think if you are ready to take the plunge you will never regret it !!!!
As I sit back and reflect, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been in life. Not because I have an amazing Family and friends but because I have a great sense of self. I can truly say that I love myself, I like myself, and I enjoy my own company.
I embrace who I am today and the man I’m becoming. I don’t have to wear a mask anymore when I leave the house. I’m not yearning to be liked, loved, wanted, or accepted by anyone anymore. I’m at peace!